[ 真紅の音 -THINK NOTE- ] VOL 12: LIES

[ 真紅の音 -THINK NOTE- ] VOL 12: LIES

"An injury on the stage. I kept lying to myself about it."

Only sadness comes from lying, that’s why he has decided not to make up lies. However, for such a Yamada, there are times when he deceives himself. That’s an overly kind lie to protect important people.

When I was in elementary school, once I told my parents that I was going to school, when actually I skipped class and went to my childhood friend’s house to play. My friend’s mother contacted my parents, and I quickly got busted. In the end while heading to school, I thought that even if I lie, nothing good happens. Since then I stopped lying.

However, I think as an idol you have to build your image in a way. It’s not that it’s lying, but all of that is me. But also because of that, there are times when I worry if I’m deceiving the people rooting for me. I appreciate that fans seem to glorify my image, because I’m not such a perfect person in reality. That’s why depending on what kind of work I do, I’m trying to narrow the line of the image that people have of me, and what I’m like in reality. When I’m doing a variety show, I’m being myself as much as possible, and when I’m doing magazine interviews I’m answering honestly. I live by feeling, so sometimes what I say might confuse people, but I want to show my real self as much as possible from now on as well.

Me as shown on television, and me as I’m in real life. That difference seems to be seen the same way by staff members as well, and when I meet people the first time, they often point out how I have two sides. “You’re different from what I thought watching television. I thought you’d me more glamorous, I didn’t think you’d be such a fun person”, that’s what I’m often told. I’m really happy that I’m able to give such a good impression when I meet new people.

I hate lies. If you have to lie, it would just be better to tell how you really feel and hurt me. Even if it would be about a trivial thing. However, there’s one kind of lie that I can accept. It’s a lie you make to yourself. If I say it differently, it can become something to help you endure. SUMMARY of 2011 was a continuity of such endurance. It’s about something that happened on the second day since it started. I felt a little weak, and during the last greeting when we were bowing, I started feeling a strong pain in my neck, and I couldn’t raise my head. At the hospital I was told that I would have to rest for two months. But on the next day I would have to go to another show with tightrope walking and flying waiting for me. My body was at its limit, but I kept lying to myself: “It’s not hurting at all”, or “Pain comes from the mind”, until the last day. I was able to do that, because I had a strong feeling that I can’t leave a hole on the stage when JUMP is on the main part, and the biggest reason was all the people who were excited waiting for the show.

I don’t want to lie to anyone from now on either. However, Daichan (Arioka) is a different thing. He’ll believe anything immediately, and when you reveal it to him, his reaction is so funny, that I just can’t help wanting to fool him. A while ago there was going to be a movie from a manga that he likes, so I kept making lies that I was going to be in it. I’ve fooled him so many times in the past, that at first he didn’t believe it, but I kept saying things like “I have to lose weight for the character”, or “The shooting starts at this or this day”, so in the end he congratulated me all “That’s great, Yamada!” (laughs) I was so into it that I started to believe it’s true myself… Please forgive these lies as “not counting”.

(c)yamadasu.tumblr.com